someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
