Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
