FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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