you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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