it hurts more in the daytime
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
