belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
