How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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