if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
