im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
