I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
