I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize