yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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