I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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