I seem to have left my pride at pride
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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