We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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