Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
