So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
