doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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