my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
His nipple licking is glorious
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