Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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