that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
