i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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