so explain again why im purple
no
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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