I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
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