even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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