bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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