Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize