and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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