how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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