Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
You are a genius and a whore.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
