I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
