dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
