Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Randomize
