They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
