..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
