Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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