but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.