i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Randomize
