My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
