MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
