three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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