I think I won the penis lottery.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize