i permit you to call me
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
i dont even know how to be here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize