Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize