Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
