i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love having hate sex.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize