actually, I'm a sock model
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
