Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
