now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize