But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
