Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
