His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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