Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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