We're facebook friends in real life
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
