Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
