at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
