great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
