Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
