Dual....:-)
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
